geleixi

"oh my god, you’re seriously going to pay college kids $15 an hour to flip burgers? get a real job!"

scenicroutes:

a real job? you mean, like, an internship at the white house?

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okay, well what about the national democratic party?

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what about interning at the united nations?

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wow damn it’s almost like our economy functions on stealing labour from hardworking young people, regardless of whether their jobs are “real” or not

cthulhu-with-a-fez

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

cthulhu-with-a-fez

wyllie-coyote:

peanutbummer:

exuberantneuropsychologist:

shmeeshed:

clevergenius:

the-diarrhea-of-anne-frank:

yea im a girl

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yea i play video games

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HAHAAHHA JK

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yea im a dude

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of course i play fucking video games

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HAHHHAHAHA JK im really a woman

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yea im a girl

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yea i play video games

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HAHAHAAHA JK IM OLD GREGG

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indeed i am a boy

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indeed i play video games

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HAHAHAHA JK IM A SWORDFISH

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Yeah I’m an trans*guy

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yeah I play video games

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jk I’m actually a dad

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IT GOT BETTER